When Curiosity Meets a Mob: Why Asking ? Shouldn’t Feel Dangerous
I posted a video on TikTok recently that stirred up a firestorm—and not the kind that sparks meaningful conversation. I had seen a post where servers were now expecting a 25% tip based on the total bill, and it made me stop and ask, “Wait… why?”
Not why should we tip—I get that part. I’ve worked. I’ve served. I’ve hustled. I understand tipping is part of how service workers survive. But my question was simple: Why is the amount I owe them based on how much my food costs, rather than the actual service I received?
Let’s say I order a $100 meal. Table Sally next to me gets a $30 meal. The server visits her table ten times, checks on drinks, brings extras, makes small talk. I get three quick check-ins. But because my food costs more, I’m “supposed” to leave more—just because of the price tag.
That math doesn’t make sense to me. It never has.
And I said so. I even compared it to Instacart or grocery shoppers—where tips are rarely given, and when they are, it’s often 6–10%, even though the service involves driving, shopping, substitutions, and lifting bags up staircases in the heat. Just a quiet observation of a flawed system, a real question that lives rent-free in my head.
What happened next was a wave I wasn’t expecting. Not one single person actually answered my question. Instead, I got flooded with threats, insults, assumptions about my character.
“Don’t eat out.”
“Servers will remember your face.”
“You won’t get good service if you’re a bad tipper.”
“Don’t come to my restaurant.”
I was called selfish, bitter, privileged, a cheapskate. Thousands of comments—and yet not one person addressed the heart of what I was asking.
But here’s what hurt the most—and it wasn’t the cruelty.
What hurt was that I was just trying to understand something that doesn’t make sense to me. What hurt was that I finally asked the question I’ve always been afraid to ask out loud, and I got scorched for it. What hurt was that I wasn’t trying to be cruel—I was just curious. And for that, I was villainized.
This is something I’ve struggled with my entire life.
I ask questions that aren’t “normal.” I point out the things that don’t add up. I don’t do it to argue. I do it because that’s how my brain works—how it’s always worked. But asking the wrong question, in the wrong tone, at the wrong time, always seems to come with a cost. People get uncomfortable, and I get labeled.
And I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of needing to pad my words, soften my tone, or pretend I don’t care about the inconsistencies in the world. I’m tired of carrying guilt for upsetting people when I speak honestly about the things that confuse or bother me. I’m tired of people responding to my questions with defensiveness instead of discussion.
I stand by what I said in that video. I believe tipping should be based on service, not subtotal. I believe delivery drivers and grocery shoppers deserve fair compensation too. I believe that logic deserves space in emotional conversations.
But more than that—I believe people should be able to ask questions, even hard ones, without being shamed into silence.
So if you’ve ever felt like you ask too much, say things “wrong,” or rub people the wrong way just by being curious—this is for you.
You are not too much. You are not wrong for wanting clarity. You are not bad for asking something others avoid.
I’m learning to let the noise fall away and to stand firm in my voice—even when it shakes, even when it offends. Because truthfully? The ones who try to shame you into silence are rarely the ones who ever tried to understand you anyway.
And I deserve to be understood.
So do you.
🍯Honey Sriracha Chicken Tenders
Ingredients
1 boneless, skinless chicken breast (cut into strips)
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon sriracha (adjust for heat)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon soy sauce
Salt and pepper to taste
Optional: green onions, sesame seeds for garnish
Instructions
Season chicken tenders with salt and pepper.
In a bowl, mix honey, sriracha, garlic, and soy sauce.
Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat.
Cook tenders 3–4 minutes per side until golden and cooked through.
Pour honey-sriracha glaze over tenders and cook another minute or two, spooning glaze on top until sticky and shiny.
Garnish if desired and serve.
Creamy Ranch Pasta Salad (Single Serving)
Ingredients
1 cup cooked pasta (small shapes like rotini or shells work best)
2 tablespoons ranch dressing
1 tablespoon sour cream or Greek yogurt
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons chopped green onions
1/4 cup diced cucumber or celery (optional for crunch)
Salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
In a bowl, mix ranch dressing and sour cream (or yogurt) until smooth.
Toss cooked and cooled pasta with the dressing.
Stir in cheese, green onions, and cucumber or celery if using.
Season lightly with salt and pepper. Chill before serving if possible.
Honey Sriracha Chicken Tender and Creamy Ranch Pasta Salad Downloadable Recipe with grocery list
Why this recipe?
This dish is sweet but bold — just like the act of asking uncomfortable questions and sticking to your truth. The honey softens the heat of the sriracha, just like your curiosity softens the firestorm you faced. It’s a dish that says: I can be kind and still be strong.
✨ Mindfulness Moment
“The Echo Isn’t the Voice.”
Sit quietly for five minutes and imagine every loud opinion hurled at you as an echo in an empty canyon — not a truth about you, just noise bouncing off walls.
Feel the difference between their noise and your steady heartbeat.
Repeat silently: Their noise is not my truth. Their volume is not my value.
✨ Pause and Reflect Journal Prompt
“When Have I Been Misunderstood — and How Did I Stay True to Myself?”
Think back to a time when you spoke your truth or asked a hard question and didn’t get the response you hoped for.
What did you learn about yourself from that moment?
What stayed true even when the world tried to shake it loose?
Close by writing a note of thanks to yourself for having the courage to ask or speak up, even if no one else saw it.
🌙 P.S. — Craving more cozy, life-elevating finds? Peek at my personal picks— the little things that helped me build a softer, stronger life.
